Mutual Growth

In order to keep a close relationship (parent-child, husband-wife, live-in-couple, close friends, siblings) really close/ happy/ sincere/ hassle-free/ stress-free/ drama-free/ joyous/ authentic/ fulfilling etc, BOTH partners must REMEMBER that both are on the same side-  in the same team - with same basic needs- the need to be needed/ loved/ appreciated/ admired/ respected/ accepted/ grow/ expand/ have space/ disagree/ say no/ say yes/ seek assistance/ stay happy/ stay healthy/ and just be authentic vulnerable selves sans any masks.....:)

Both must remember that behaviour patterns/ habits/ lifestyle choices/ reactions/ responses/ addictions/ compensations/ defense mechanisms/ diseases etc find deep roots in these needs.

Both must be willing to look deep within self (or through external mirrors) in order to identify their inner needs (this step is CRUCIAL and needs a LOT OF COURAGE)

Both must mutually lend a hand/ shoulder to help each other understand / satisfy/ fulfill/ overcome/ transcend their basic needs. 

The 'householder route' (where all these intricate relationships are possible and all these steps can be practiced) is the shortest path to Bliss/ Nirvana/ Heaven..............if BOTH choose it to be so...and that is a big 'IF' :))))))

The time for working on oneself, in isolation is nigh over. The next step is to work in pairs; and that needs WILLING partners.....otherwise, a sacred opportunity to GROW TOGETHER will be lost!! and that is a GREAT LOSS indeed!!

What is Love?

Love is a state of being. It is our 'home' state. When we are completely at peace with ourselves, without any demands, expectations, needs, requirements, emotions, points to prove, fears, worries, uncertainties etc etc, we are in that home state of love. When any of these 'interruptions' happen, they super-impose other states of being- such as being in anger, being in fear, being in ecstasy, being in attachment, being in greed, being in lust, etc. etc. upon the home state of love. In other words, the state of love doesn't go away, it only gets temporarily hidden/ over-shadowed/ covered/ painted over. (something like the sky getting covered with clouds/ stars etc). 

Hence, whether we realize it or not, we ALWAYS remain in a state of love. We cannot possibly leave that state of being. EVERYONE, including the rapist, the murderer, the corrupt, the terrorist, the saint, the rogue, the rich, the poor, REMAIN in the state of Love at all times; it is the 'interruptions/ disturbances/ clouds/ stars' that determine our happiness or unhappiness. 

Love is the state of oneness. Hence, there are no words to define the opposite of love; though we use words like hate and fear to bring love into the realm of duality and thus get confused about what love actually is. (Opposite of hate is compassion; and opposite of fear is fearlessness/ courage). 

Love you all..............:)

(When I say 'love you' that means, I am communicating from my home state.) (But come to think of it, the 'interruptions' make our lives more colourful and interesting, just as clouds/ stars/ sun / moon make the sky more interesting. As long as we don't forget what the sky actually looks like, without the super-impositions...ALL IS WELL.)

Mother Nature

"Life on Planet Earth is always in a flux. Varieties of species come and go according to the particular need of the energy that they create. One of the tasks of Gaia (consciousness of Planet Earth/ Mother Nature) is to create and eliminate species. When a species (plant or animal) is no longer needed for the purpose of Gaia’s development, it ceases to exist and dies out. If new life is necessary, if new concepts of life are needed, Gaia co-operates in their creation. This process is closely linked and coordinated with changing weather on the planet. Long-term studies of the environment point out to actual creation and destruction of species. It is an ongoing process.  

However, some humans don’t understand this and want to save all the species that exist now. In their linear mind, all the species should remain and exist, just because they are here at this time. The Gaia, however, continues to eliminate some, cull some out, and bring in some new ones according to its own energy requirements . It is a natural and appropriate evolutionary process."..............Kryon

These words of Kryon completely resonate with me. I believe that there is a natural order in this universe and everything happens (is happening) according to a larger game plan that we are not consciously privy to.....and yet, we fall prey to doubts, fears, worries, righteous indignation, missionary zeal, I-shall-save-you mode.....:))) We are all defaulters on this front (me included) in one way or another. I guess, that's what makes us human........our ego-personalities don't become sublime so easily!!

In the end, I am always compelled to return to my regular mantra, "It is okay to have doubts. It is okay to be fearful. It is okay to worry. It is okay to feel righteous indignation. It is okay to nurture a missionary zeal. It is okay to behave as savior. It is okay to default. It is okay to be human. It is okay to have an ego-personality. It is okay to be who I am being in this present moment. However, from now onward I choose to be more trusting- in faith, surrender and remembrance- ALL IS WELL. The Spirit is in-charge here. And so it is."

Happily Married

In our friend circles, most people have children of marriageable age, so marriage and there-after remains a common topic of hot discussions. Most parents want their children to choose their spouse themselves (a  far cry from our days and a very welcome move indeed) saying, ‘Bachhe khush rahein, aur hamein kya chaahiye.’ But in the next breath they begin wondering aloud, “Today’s children don’t have patience and tolerance. They are set in their ways and can’t change for the other. So many marriages are breaking up. It scares us.”

I wonder why such thoughts don’t occur to me. I firmly believe that if we have set a good example for our children, they will be alright; with or without marriage! Marriage is just another way of life; and those who know how to live life, will enjoy being married too….not because one must ‘get married and produce children’, but because one wants to spend one’s life with a particular person as family.

Those of us, who want our children to be happily married (and that includes all of us who have children), have to work upon our own marriage first. The day we can happily declare (to ourselves) that our marriage is making our home a peaceful, joyful heaven, we will stop worrying about our children and their marital status….:))) 

Happy Marriage

What is your secret of happy marriage?

In our case, it is knowing, remembering and if need be, reminding the other that our views/ likings/ dislikings/ preferences/ moods/ perspectives may differ from time to time but we remain on the same side....with our common love for love, peace, harmony, mutual growth and loving communication.......:)

After 30 years of togetherness we both enjoy each other's company the most.........:))

Drama

Let’s face it; most of us remain engrossed in activities that distract us from our spiritual quest. In fact, that’s precisely the reason we create those activities. Some of us are so good at these distraction tactics that we remain engrossed in them all our lives. (I don’t need to tell you what those distraction activities are; we have all been there and done that.) It is a part of the defense mechanism. We argue/ debate/ confront and like doing it all. Drama is our best friend. We thrive on it.

While all that is an individual choice, it creates a small problem for those who are trying to eliminate drama from their lives, who do not wish to play the judgment/ criticism/ competition/ comparison game anymore. After all they still need to interact with the ones who love dramas. They still need to wade through situations that carry anger, hatred, envy etc.

So, what is the solution? What works for you?

I use isolation, dis-engagement, plain honest talk, silence, smiles, and Ho’oponopono……..and that works for me......:)

Freedom

Unless we give freedom to others to act and react in whichever manner they deem fit, we cannot give the same freedom to our own selves. Our bondage is not because of others, it is because we haven't truly freed/ released others from our judgments/ expectations/ opinions..... and these are such subtle chains, which bind us so cleverly, that we fail to see/ recognize them.........So, if you truly wish to be free and soar like an eagle......FREE everyone/ everything from judgment/ expectation/ opinion!!

I know it is a tough call, given our social conditioning and upbringing; everything that we do/ say/ think, reeks of judgment/ expectation/ opinion.......har ek cell mein koot-koot ke bhara hai!

and I am going through another interesting side-story while trying to eliminate the above.....My all time friend- The Guilt- pops up every now and then saying, "See, you were judgmental now. There, you just expressed an opinion. Wasn't that mail rather opinionated? Haven't you been expecting gratitude/ acknowledgment/ shaabash? Hello!! You have a long way to go, if at all!!"

Of late, I have learnt to just listen to Ms. Guilt and smile......There is nothing left to say!! Only actions can speak louder than words...:))) I guess, when finally the freedom dawns, it will ensure a good-bye to Madam Guilt forever!!!! Won't that be great??

Yippeeeee! Just the very thought feels liberating!!