Inspiration

The CONTRAST in our life is present to help hone our CLARITY about what we really want; what truly inspires us, and what we'd rather not do/ have/ be..........Our varied life experiences offer us the clarity to find our true desires.........and once we place a sharp FOCUS on our desires, the energy begins to flow that way- making the desires manifest in our life!

Life is not about something that we are 'supposed to do', it is not about something that we 'should do'.........It is only about something that we are 'inspired to do'..........and our inspiration gains clarity only through our Contrast Experiences....:)

So, let us welcome all our experiences as vehicles for delivering a vast array of choices to us............and choose to focus only on those experiences which inspire us the most.......in order to CREATE a life of our dreams!!

And so it is!

What's right with us?

I have realized that in our zeal to do good/ change systems/ lead better lives/ help others we tend to focus upon what is ‘wrong’ with us/ the systems/ people/ situations/ country/ world etc. Hence, even though we begin with noble intentions, we get mired in all the negativity, which sucks us in, making us offensive/ defensive/ loud/ righteous/ indignant/ and holier-than-thou! In other words, we become exactly what we wish to change in others!

And despite our good intentions end up creating nothing more than noise/ judgments/ criticism/ Them Vs Us paradigm! And needless to say, it doesn’t help anyone, including us.

On the other hand, if we look at each issue/ problem/ system/ person/ country/ world etc with a focus on “What’s right with it/ him/ her/them”, we shall find something that can be worked at/ worked with in order to create sustainable solutions.

This line of questioning will also put everything in right perspective for us, letting us decide whether something is worth working at or deserves to be released/ let go of/ destroyed/ re-constructed/ re-structured.

For example, in case of a personal turmoil- especially in marital arena- the partners can look at what is ‘right’ with their marriage/ partnership; alongside what is wrong with it- and then weigh the two lists. If the ‘right’ one has more weight in it; they should work at making the marriage tick once again; and on the other hand, if the ‘wrong’ list is longer, they should gracefully/ mutually let each other go! This makes life much simpler and more rewarding!

After all, every situation/ person/ thing/ institution has something that is right with it/ him/ her/ them…Let’s find that ‘right’, in order to make it ‘right-er’……:)

Growth and Evolution

In order to understand why ‘bad’ things happen to ‘good’ people, we need to get clear about why things happen in the first place? Why are we here on planet earth? Why is our planet a place of duality where positive and negative energies reside in equal measure? Why do we need to learn our so-called life lessons?

The answer to all the above questions is just one- we are here on planet earth because we as souls freely chose to be here. It was our CHOICE! Something like choosing to join a school, study a particular subject, take up a particular adventure, face a particular challenge etc. If we wish to grow and evolve, we need to challenge ourselves and expand beyond our comfort zones. That is exactly what souls (you and I) are doing on earth. We are challenging ourselves in order to grow/ evolve/ expand. And all that can’t happen if we remain in our comfort-zones! Simple!

When we experience the so-called bad things, we not only get a taste of what negativity feels like but also understand what its opposite, the so-called good feels like. Earth is the only place where this experiment is going on- the rest of the universe (where we have come from) exists in benign loving energy (and that is our default home state too).

As we grow and evolve we learn that most negative situations get resolved when we use the tool of self-love (I accept myself and this situation. I am grateful to myself and this situation. I forgive myself and this situation etc); however, there are some situations that demand that we face them courageously and squarely; and in the bargain learn how to live with them until the death of this current physical body.

Yes, negative situations bring about ‘fear’ in us, but when the fear comes we need to look for some lesson in the fearful situation. Someone has rightly said, “Whenever we feel fearful about something, it is an indication that our soul wants us to understand some things.”

Happy growing and evolving!

Dimensions

We are often told that we are moving from a 3-D (dimensions of consciousness) reality to a 5-D reality, where 4-D is the doorway/ bridge/ connecting-link that we are accessing/ passing through right now. Some others talk about being in 7-D, 9-D, 12-D etc. Some say there are infinite dimensions! All this talk leaves us pretty confused. (Almost sounds like an abstract math class!)

Let me try and make it simpler to understand. Our first D is the Body, in 2-D the Mind gets added and 3-D encompasses the realm of Body-Mind-Emotions. The 4th D is the SPIRIT. At every stage we keep adding one new dimension to our being! The main difference with the 4th dimension is that The Spirit (the 4th dimension) opens up the floodgates for us to access any new dimension at will. It doesn’t mean that we will not access our1-D, 2-D or 3-D paradigms any more, it only means that after we learn to ACCESS the Spirit at will and at all times, we can access any other dimension after that. (It is like once you have the Internet, you can access any website. You need not know the names of all the websites, it is the keywords that take you there.)

Let us understand this through an example:-

Suppose a mishap happens in your city/life. The people in 3-D consciousness will begin to blame all and sundry. The ones in 4-D will go into meditation/ ask others to meditate upon the situation. The ones in 5-D will start exposing the real truth behind the scenes. Those in yet higher dimensions will feel compassion for all sides. They would know that the ones perpetuating the crime are only playing a role to make the current reality so painful that people are left with no choice but to shift/ wake up. They know that any mishap eventually helps people take back their power. Nothing happens just like that, without any reason. Any mishap jolts people out of their complacence, in order to bring forth the good for/ from all.

When we begin to observe our thoughts/ emotions/ words, we begin to learn our state of consciousness in any given moment; and as we dance through our multi-dimensional-states, we truly discover ourselves.....:)

Ascension

Ascension is the process of ascending one’s consciousness while living in the physical body. It requires the ability to view life’s events from a higher/ larger/ broader perspective; wherein one can observe both the positive and the negative, and find great value in both. This ability is highly valuable as it lets us ride the waves of change that are here BIG TIME! It requires a new set of beliefs, seeing beyond the obvious (the 10% of reality that we see) to what is really going on (the 90% of reality that is hidden), and re-balancing ourselves after each shock.

Waking Up!

While walking the path of ‘awakening’, many people feel alone, unsupported, and misunderstood. They become very aware of other people’s state of ‘sleepiness’, since they can’t connect with them. (How can an awake person connect with a sleeping person? For the connection to happen, the one sleeping has to awaken too!!)

Now the question arises, should the awake one try to wake up the one sleeping? I, for one, don’t believe in this. Even in the physical realm, I don’t like to wake a sleeping person up, unless s/he asks me to do it. (this was not the case even a couple of years ago…J)

Awake people know that there is more to life and living than what one is aware of with our physical senses. Most of them are highly intuitive, empathetic, and sensitive; which is both a blessing and a challenge. It is a blessing because they perceive the world in a much more profound, enlightened and spirit-filled way. And it is a challenge, because they are also aware of how many people in their world are sleepy, unaware and not aware that they are unaware. They begin to feel that they should do something about waking people up, in order to make a difference in the world. So, some of them become like blaring alarm clocks while some others act like snooze buttons. Some wait for the others to wake up before deciding to do anything with their time (the whole household must awaken before anything can be done). Some keep lamenting about the world that needs to awaken but is not open to it.

But what happens when you wake sleeping people? They may not get up despite your nudging/ shaking/ shouting/ grumbling/ cajoling/ requesting/ giving reasons etc; making you feel judgmental, critical and frustrated in the bargain- and spoiling your relationship for good. They may get up and start grumbling. They may shout back at you for disturbing them and not letting them sleep in peace. Some may thank you but become too dependent upon you for waking them up, every time they fall asleep; and may blame you if you can’t/ won’t do it.

And what happens when you let them sleep? They may miss their appointments/ or other benefits of waking up.

BUT have you ever met anyone who continues to sleep forever? Every one eventually awakens. Yes, they may miss their appointments, and sometimes may blame you for not waking them up, but in their heart of hearts, they know that they alone are responsible for waking up and may act more responsibly in future.   They may feel very happy, refreshed and charged after sleeping well, and may do something very creative / productive upon awakening. They may thank you for letting them sleep extra. 

The best thing is that you will definitely feel more calm, peaceful and carefree (I experience it when I allow people to decide when they wish to wake up.)

The question is – who decides when it is time for someone to wake up? What about letting people sleep until they are ready to wake up by themselves? Why must we worry about them missing the bus?

The answer is very simple. Those who awaken before others do, must get the bed-tea ready, with the biscuits on the side!! Yes, that is the challenge before us. The awakened ones must make some difference in a world that needs to ‘see’ and NOT ‘hear’ a new path (new way of living) before it is willing to consider it as an option to the existing paths.

People wake up (awaken) when they are ready, and not before that. BEING the difference we want to see in the world is the only tool that will wake the world up to its own potential.

In order to BE THE DIFFERENCE, we have to SHOW the world the possibilities that are available. We can do this not by telling them that they are asleep but by showing them what can be achieved when you wake up! For that we need to use our ability, our mindset, our gifts, and our understandings to make our world more joyful and fulfilling. Only our fun/ joy/ fulfillment can make others CHOOSE to wake up!

The choice, as always, lies with each individual! And so it is!

The child that you were

Someone asked me yesterday, "Would the child that you were be proud of the woman that you are?" I said, "That's a beautiful question! I believe that the child that I was would be very proud of the woman I am."....She smiled and said, "How many persons can honestly say this?" I replied, "I don't know. Not many I guess; but I am certain about the feelings and thoughts of the child that I was (have done a lot of inner-child work and understand her completely by now). Even the teenager that I was, or the young adult that I was, or the woman that I was until yesterday, would be proud of the woman that I am today! There is no doubt in my mind/ heart about that."

What say you? Would the child that you were be proud of the wo/man that you are? Yes, No, May be, Perhaps......................:)))))

Conversations

Our individual, community, and global conversations influence (create) our experiences. The words we speak become the body/ house/ community/ city/ country/ world we live in.

 We don’t live in a set of circumstances. Our world and our circumstances get created in / through our conversations. When our conversations focus upon fear, terror, revenge, anger, retribution, jealousy, envy, comparison, competition, sexual abuse, rape, murders, terrorism, pollution etc, that is the world we begin to inhabit. Conversely, if our conversations are about possibility, hope, inspiration, beauty, joy, gratitude, and appreciation, then that’s the world we begin to inhabit.

(More often than not, our conversations contain BOTH stories, and we continue to experience both the worlds.)

 Most people think that the words we say/ write simply express our innermost thoughts, but the truth is that our innermost thoughts (and our public conversations) create our circumstances/ life conditions/ relationships/ challenges - our whole world.

Our present world needs healing/ cleaning/ over-hauling, because we need healing/ cleaning/ over-hauling. And this process can begin with being aware of our conversations and if need be, change them. This can only happen when we choose to remember that the words we speak, influence/ create the world we live in.

Whatever thoughts/ feelings/ beliefs we express in our conversations, become our experiences in life- our self-fulfilling prophecies.

 It is time now to examine our conversations with ourselves and others and ask, “Do our conversations in personal, professional, and community life reflect what we really want from life? If not, how can we change them?”

 While it is tempting to please the ego-personality that feels justified in carrying negativity, we can always change that if we want to. And the point to power as always lies within us.

 One simple way to improve our conversations is by asking better/ right questions, especially about life’s inter-connectedness and inter-dependence. Simple questions like, ‘What is the possible solution? What might work? What will make it right? What would be ideal? How can I help to make it right?’ carry the power to change our world.

 Today, let us pay due attention to our conversations and make a difference to the world!

Attitude

"We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold towards them."

– Elbert Hubbard

What a beautiful saying and so very true! When I think of someone as stubborn, s/he shows a stubborn attitude towards me. When I think of someone as intelligent, his/ her intelligence gets expressed in my presence. When I think of someone as lazy, that person reveals laziness of mind and body. 

I awaken in others, what I think about them.....and so do you! So, the next time you either praise or criticize someone's behaviour, know that you have awakened it in him/ her/ them, by your perceived opinion of that person (or a certain type of people).

For example, when we think that Indians will always litter, they do!! When we think that politicians/ bureaucrats/ police officials are usually corrupt, they are!! When we think that corporate practices are mostly unethical, they are!!

If we wish to change the world, we have to change our attitude towards it!! and our attitudes get affected by what we think/ read/ write/ speak...:))

-- 

Mutual Growth

In order to keep a close relationship (parent-child, husband-wife, live-in-couple, close friends, siblings) really close/ happy/ sincere/ hassle-free/ stress-free/ drama-free/ joyous/ authentic/ fulfilling etc, BOTH partners must REMEMBER that both are on the same side-  in the same team - with same basic needs- the need to be needed/ loved/ appreciated/ admired/ respected/ accepted/ grow/ expand/ have space/ disagree/ say no/ say yes/ seek assistance/ stay happy/ stay healthy/ and just be authentic vulnerable selves sans any masks.....:)

Both must remember that behaviour patterns/ habits/ lifestyle choices/ reactions/ responses/ addictions/ compensations/ defense mechanisms/ diseases etc find deep roots in these needs.

Both must be willing to look deep within self (or through external mirrors) in order to identify their inner needs (this step is CRUCIAL and needs a LOT OF COURAGE)

Both must mutually lend a hand/ shoulder to help each other understand / satisfy/ fulfill/ overcome/ transcend their basic needs. 

The 'householder route' (where all these intricate relationships are possible and all these steps can be practiced) is the shortest path to Bliss/ Nirvana/ Heaven..............if BOTH choose it to be so...and that is a big 'IF' :))))))

The time for working on oneself, in isolation is nigh over. The next step is to work in pairs; and that needs WILLING partners.....otherwise, a sacred opportunity to GROW TOGETHER will be lost!! and that is a GREAT LOSS indeed!!

What is Love?

Love is a state of being. It is our 'home' state. When we are completely at peace with ourselves, without any demands, expectations, needs, requirements, emotions, points to prove, fears, worries, uncertainties etc etc, we are in that home state of love. When any of these 'interruptions' happen, they super-impose other states of being- such as being in anger, being in fear, being in ecstasy, being in attachment, being in greed, being in lust, etc. etc. upon the home state of love. In other words, the state of love doesn't go away, it only gets temporarily hidden/ over-shadowed/ covered/ painted over. (something like the sky getting covered with clouds/ stars etc). 

Hence, whether we realize it or not, we ALWAYS remain in a state of love. We cannot possibly leave that state of being. EVERYONE, including the rapist, the murderer, the corrupt, the terrorist, the saint, the rogue, the rich, the poor, REMAIN in the state of Love at all times; it is the 'interruptions/ disturbances/ clouds/ stars' that determine our happiness or unhappiness. 

Love is the state of oneness. Hence, there are no words to define the opposite of love; though we use words like hate and fear to bring love into the realm of duality and thus get confused about what love actually is. (Opposite of hate is compassion; and opposite of fear is fearlessness/ courage). 

Love you all..............:)

(When I say 'love you' that means, I am communicating from my home state.) (But come to think of it, the 'interruptions' make our lives more colourful and interesting, just as clouds/ stars/ sun / moon make the sky more interesting. As long as we don't forget what the sky actually looks like, without the super-impositions...ALL IS WELL.)

Mother Nature

"Life on Planet Earth is always in a flux. Varieties of species come and go according to the particular need of the energy that they create. One of the tasks of Gaia (consciousness of Planet Earth/ Mother Nature) is to create and eliminate species. When a species (plant or animal) is no longer needed for the purpose of Gaia’s development, it ceases to exist and dies out. If new life is necessary, if new concepts of life are needed, Gaia co-operates in their creation. This process is closely linked and coordinated with changing weather on the planet. Long-term studies of the environment point out to actual creation and destruction of species. It is an ongoing process.  

However, some humans don’t understand this and want to save all the species that exist now. In their linear mind, all the species should remain and exist, just because they are here at this time. The Gaia, however, continues to eliminate some, cull some out, and bring in some new ones according to its own energy requirements . It is a natural and appropriate evolutionary process."..............Kryon

These words of Kryon completely resonate with me. I believe that there is a natural order in this universe and everything happens (is happening) according to a larger game plan that we are not consciously privy to.....and yet, we fall prey to doubts, fears, worries, righteous indignation, missionary zeal, I-shall-save-you mode.....:))) We are all defaulters on this front (me included) in one way or another. I guess, that's what makes us human........our ego-personalities don't become sublime so easily!!

In the end, I am always compelled to return to my regular mantra, "It is okay to have doubts. It is okay to be fearful. It is okay to worry. It is okay to feel righteous indignation. It is okay to nurture a missionary zeal. It is okay to behave as savior. It is okay to default. It is okay to be human. It is okay to have an ego-personality. It is okay to be who I am being in this present moment. However, from now onward I choose to be more trusting- in faith, surrender and remembrance- ALL IS WELL. The Spirit is in-charge here. And so it is."

Happily Married

In our friend circles, most people have children of marriageable age, so marriage and there-after remains a common topic of hot discussions. Most parents want their children to choose their spouse themselves (a  far cry from our days and a very welcome move indeed) saying, ‘Bachhe khush rahein, aur hamein kya chaahiye.’ But in the next breath they begin wondering aloud, “Today’s children don’t have patience and tolerance. They are set in their ways and can’t change for the other. So many marriages are breaking up. It scares us.”

I wonder why such thoughts don’t occur to me. I firmly believe that if we have set a good example for our children, they will be alright; with or without marriage! Marriage is just another way of life; and those who know how to live life, will enjoy being married too….not because one must ‘get married and produce children’, but because one wants to spend one’s life with a particular person as family.

Those of us, who want our children to be happily married (and that includes all of us who have children), have to work upon our own marriage first. The day we can happily declare (to ourselves) that our marriage is making our home a peaceful, joyful heaven, we will stop worrying about our children and their marital status….:))) 

Happy Marriage

What is your secret of happy marriage?

In our case, it is knowing, remembering and if need be, reminding the other that our views/ likings/ dislikings/ preferences/ moods/ perspectives may differ from time to time but we remain on the same side....with our common love for love, peace, harmony, mutual growth and loving communication.......:)

After 30 years of togetherness we both enjoy each other's company the most.........:))

Drama

Let’s face it; most of us remain engrossed in activities that distract us from our spiritual quest. In fact, that’s precisely the reason we create those activities. Some of us are so good at these distraction tactics that we remain engrossed in them all our lives. (I don’t need to tell you what those distraction activities are; we have all been there and done that.) It is a part of the defense mechanism. We argue/ debate/ confront and like doing it all. Drama is our best friend. We thrive on it.

While all that is an individual choice, it creates a small problem for those who are trying to eliminate drama from their lives, who do not wish to play the judgment/ criticism/ competition/ comparison game anymore. After all they still need to interact with the ones who love dramas. They still need to wade through situations that carry anger, hatred, envy etc.

So, what is the solution? What works for you?

I use isolation, dis-engagement, plain honest talk, silence, smiles, and Ho’oponopono……..and that works for me......:)

Freedom

Unless we give freedom to others to act and react in whichever manner they deem fit, we cannot give the same freedom to our own selves. Our bondage is not because of others, it is because we haven't truly freed/ released others from our judgments/ expectations/ opinions..... and these are such subtle chains, which bind us so cleverly, that we fail to see/ recognize them.........So, if you truly wish to be free and soar like an eagle......FREE everyone/ everything from judgment/ expectation/ opinion!!

I know it is a tough call, given our social conditioning and upbringing; everything that we do/ say/ think, reeks of judgment/ expectation/ opinion.......har ek cell mein koot-koot ke bhara hai!

and I am going through another interesting side-story while trying to eliminate the above.....My all time friend- The Guilt- pops up every now and then saying, "See, you were judgmental now. There, you just expressed an opinion. Wasn't that mail rather opinionated? Haven't you been expecting gratitude/ acknowledgment/ shaabash? Hello!! You have a long way to go, if at all!!"

Of late, I have learnt to just listen to Ms. Guilt and smile......There is nothing left to say!! Only actions can speak louder than words...:))) I guess, when finally the freedom dawns, it will ensure a good-bye to Madam Guilt forever!!!! Won't that be great??

Yippeeeee! Just the very thought feels liberating!!

Grand Overall Design

Earlier if someone asked me to speak about my 'spiritual' experiences (in meditation or otherwise) I would tell quite a few stories, but today when someone asked me to do so, I answered in no uncertain terms that ALL my Life Experiences are Spiritual experiences. Period. There is no experience in my life (or any other life) that is not spiritual.

After all, ALL experiences are experienced by the SPIRIT/ Consciousness/ God through us (the five or more senses of the embodiment).......This reminds me of my mother's words, "Uske Hukum Ke Bina Ek Patta Bhi Nahin Hil Sakta." If a leaf can't stir, without Divine Diktat, how can we experience anything without Divine Desire???

Where is the doubt that everything that happens (or doesn't happen) in my life is there (or not there) by Divine Decree........Grand Overall Design (G.O.D.)???

Third-Eye Experiences

Why do we give more importance to our 'Third Eye' experiences over our 'two-eyes' experiences? Is it because those experiences make us feel special, 'holier-than- some others'? Is it an escape into the world we have all come from (home sickness)? Every one can have those experiences just as everyone can have open-eye experiences? It is just a matter of tuning into a certain frequency.....and watching a certain channel...:)

Earlier I used to feel in awe of such experiences and the ones who experienced them...Today, I feel in awe of (admire) those people who are fully grounded in their Earth experience........EXPRESSING their divinity through their humanity (and not through some lofty glimpses of the astral world) .......Such people (and there are far more than I can count) are my heroes...my role models...♥

A Competitive Mindset

Speaking of competition, I realize that the very ill of ‘not good enough’ has its root in a world obsessed with competition.

Right from the time we are born, our competition begins. Our various growth milestones (which are so very individual) such as when we begin to teeth/ sit/ crawl/ stand/ walk/ speak etc become the topic of ‘one-up-wo-man-ship’ among relatives, colleagues and neighbors. Parents speak proudly about the early bloomers (taking full credit for the little blighter’s performance) while blame the genes (taken from a particular side of the family) as the culprit for late milestones. The poor kid, s/he is not even aware of the competitive spirit that gets aroused by such a simple thing whether s/he sleeps through the night or wakes up many times.

(No, wait a minute, that’s not true! We think that the infant is not aware of what is going on, but the energy of our competitive thoughts filters through our words and affects the baby- even in its sleep!)

From there on, the competition continues in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways. By the time a child joins the primary school, s/he is already stamped with ‘NOT GOOD ENOUGH’, because there has to be some area in which we find ourselves ‘not up to the mark’ vis-à-vis someone else. Even if we excel in a certain area, we can’t be the best in everything. And that brings us to our obsession with being an ‘ALL ROUNDER’. Every parent (whether they have achieved anything themselves or not) (especially if they haven’t achieved much and feel ‘not good enough' themselves) wants their child to be an all-rounder. And that’s an absolute impossibility, because NO ONE is designed to be an all-rounder. We can only be ‘Andhon mein Kana Raja’- ‘the one-eyed king among the blind’.

And we all want to be that- one-eyed king, even when we have the potential of seeing with not only our two physical eyes, but even a meta-physical third eye as well! What a waste of our potential!!

The genesis of this ubiquitous competition lies in our faulty thought that THERE ISN’T ENOUGH……there isn’t enough money, there isn’t enough time, there aren’t enough seats for study, there aren’t enough jobs, and there aren’t enough resources! Those who run faster than the rest, get there to lay their hands on as much as they can grab.

But wait a minute a minute! Where are we running off to? Who cares? All we know is that we need to run and grab (whatever it is that we want to grab) before someone else does, before it gets over/ finishes. And thus begins the rat race, which is another name for mindlessly going around in circles, not knowing where we are headed! And someone has very rightly said, even when we win the race, we remain a rat!!

What if we were to believe that we can all be/ do/ have what we desire from deep within? That there is no need to run, as nothing is running away from us. That we can simply enjoy our life journey from day one, being who we are, and not feeling guilty about it.

What if we grew up believing that we are lovable as we are, with our likes, dislikes, talents, desires, aptitudes, attitudes, vulnerabilities, imperfections? That we don’t need to prove anything to anyone anytime. That we can rejoice in our uniqueness.

What if we were sure that we don’t need to compete with anyone for anything? That our parents’ love was a given, that good education was a given, that earning a livelihood was a given, that a good, loving lovable home life was a given.

What if we completely believed that we don’t need to impress anyone with clever words, good looks, smart credentials, loads of money, fancy gadgets, big homes, yachts, private jets etc?

What if our loving essence shone through us at all times, dazzling us with our inherent goodness, kindness, compassion, care, and brotherhood?

What if we begin to let go of our competitiveness, small mindedness, selfishness, and grabbing- hogging - seeking attention mentality?

What if we begin to feel ‘ENOUGH’? I am enough. I have enough. There is enough to go around. There is enough where this comes from. The Source is infinite. Our potential is infinite. Resources are infinite; when one resource gets exhausted, we get creative and find new/ different resources. That is how new discoveries/ inventions are made, new jobs are created, new subjects are studied.

This is an ever-renewing, ever-evolving, ever-growing universe. We are ever-renewing, ever-evolving, ever-growing beings!
Where is the doubt that the universe has ENOUGH for all our needs? But there is certainly a doubt whether it has enough for even a few people’s greed!! And the greed originates in competition!!

It is time we did away with competition in any form; and the place to begin with, as always is, WITHIN US…:)

Competition in Families

Since we grow up in an environment of competition, we carry this competitive spirit into our family lives too (how can that not be). Hence, siblings compete with each other (some parents actually encourage it) and even spouses compete with each other (who do the children love more).

We don't even hide our proclivity for competition and comparison by blatantly asking small innocent children, 'Who loves you more? Papa or Mama? Who do you love more? etc' and depending upon the child's answer (the smarter ones always say 'both' but the adults are not satisfied with such 'spoil-sport' politically correct answers) one parent would chime in, 'Who gets chocolates/ ice-cream/ video-games etc for you?" making the child feel that all the 'goodies' (god forbid) come with a price- you HAVE TO like the one who gets you more 'stuff'.

This is just a small example, I can give many more (and even if I don't, each one of you have your own unique ones to look into). But the fact remains that 'competition' between family members is the cause of all our relational/ societal issues. and each one of us is responsible for sowing this seed in our family. (we may mask this 'competitive spirit' well, but this is the one which creates fodder for all family gossip).

In my practice as a life coach (such coaches are needed because of the mess we ourselves have created), I come across many cases of marital discord; and the root cause of all discords remains just one- yes, the ubiquitous competition. It may show up in different forms/ avatars; but there is no running away from it. 

One very important step in coaching is letting a couple see that they are both on the same side. They want the same things for themselves and their children. I have seen that the moment this thought finds root, a break-through happens. The competition gets demolished. Otherwise, every well-meaning conversation/ observation ends up in perceived fault-finding, judgment, criticism etc. and provokes a befitting retort! (ending the communication in hurt/ sulk/ anger)

And how can that not be? This is exactly what we do in other areas of our life. We are always in a competitive mode. 

The concept of win-win appeals to me a great deal because it ensures a win for all....and that's what we all are. We are all winners. There are no losers here. The only loser is -Competition; and it's high time it lost! 

The game is up!