Grand Overall Design

Earlier if someone asked me to speak about my 'spiritual' experiences (in meditation or otherwise) I would tell quite a few stories, but today when someone asked me to do so, I answered in no uncertain terms that ALL my Life Experiences are Spiritual experiences. Period. There is no experience in my life (or any other life) that is not spiritual.

After all, ALL experiences are experienced by the SPIRIT/ Consciousness/ God through us (the five or more senses of the embodiment).......This reminds me of my mother's words, "Uske Hukum Ke Bina Ek Patta Bhi Nahin Hil Sakta." If a leaf can't stir, without Divine Diktat, how can we experience anything without Divine Desire???

Where is the doubt that everything that happens (or doesn't happen) in my life is there (or not there) by Divine Decree........Grand Overall Design (G.O.D.)???

Third-Eye Experiences

Why do we give more importance to our 'Third Eye' experiences over our 'two-eyes' experiences? Is it because those experiences make us feel special, 'holier-than- some others'? Is it an escape into the world we have all come from (home sickness)? Every one can have those experiences just as everyone can have open-eye experiences? It is just a matter of tuning into a certain frequency.....and watching a certain channel...:)

Earlier I used to feel in awe of such experiences and the ones who experienced them...Today, I feel in awe of (admire) those people who are fully grounded in their Earth experience........EXPRESSING their divinity through their humanity (and not through some lofty glimpses of the astral world) .......Such people (and there are far more than I can count) are my heroes...my role models...♥

A Competitive Mindset

Speaking of competition, I realize that the very ill of ‘not good enough’ has its root in a world obsessed with competition.

Right from the time we are born, our competition begins. Our various growth milestones (which are so very individual) such as when we begin to teeth/ sit/ crawl/ stand/ walk/ speak etc become the topic of ‘one-up-wo-man-ship’ among relatives, colleagues and neighbors. Parents speak proudly about the early bloomers (taking full credit for the little blighter’s performance) while blame the genes (taken from a particular side of the family) as the culprit for late milestones. The poor kid, s/he is not even aware of the competitive spirit that gets aroused by such a simple thing whether s/he sleeps through the night or wakes up many times.

(No, wait a minute, that’s not true! We think that the infant is not aware of what is going on, but the energy of our competitive thoughts filters through our words and affects the baby- even in its sleep!)

From there on, the competition continues in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways. By the time a child joins the primary school, s/he is already stamped with ‘NOT GOOD ENOUGH’, because there has to be some area in which we find ourselves ‘not up to the mark’ vis-à-vis someone else. Even if we excel in a certain area, we can’t be the best in everything. And that brings us to our obsession with being an ‘ALL ROUNDER’. Every parent (whether they have achieved anything themselves or not) (especially if they haven’t achieved much and feel ‘not good enough' themselves) wants their child to be an all-rounder. And that’s an absolute impossibility, because NO ONE is designed to be an all-rounder. We can only be ‘Andhon mein Kana Raja’- ‘the one-eyed king among the blind’.

And we all want to be that- one-eyed king, even when we have the potential of seeing with not only our two physical eyes, but even a meta-physical third eye as well! What a waste of our potential!!

The genesis of this ubiquitous competition lies in our faulty thought that THERE ISN’T ENOUGH……there isn’t enough money, there isn’t enough time, there aren’t enough seats for study, there aren’t enough jobs, and there aren’t enough resources! Those who run faster than the rest, get there to lay their hands on as much as they can grab.

But wait a minute a minute! Where are we running off to? Who cares? All we know is that we need to run and grab (whatever it is that we want to grab) before someone else does, before it gets over/ finishes. And thus begins the rat race, which is another name for mindlessly going around in circles, not knowing where we are headed! And someone has very rightly said, even when we win the race, we remain a rat!!

What if we were to believe that we can all be/ do/ have what we desire from deep within? That there is no need to run, as nothing is running away from us. That we can simply enjoy our life journey from day one, being who we are, and not feeling guilty about it.

What if we grew up believing that we are lovable as we are, with our likes, dislikes, talents, desires, aptitudes, attitudes, vulnerabilities, imperfections? That we don’t need to prove anything to anyone anytime. That we can rejoice in our uniqueness.

What if we were sure that we don’t need to compete with anyone for anything? That our parents’ love was a given, that good education was a given, that earning a livelihood was a given, that a good, loving lovable home life was a given.

What if we completely believed that we don’t need to impress anyone with clever words, good looks, smart credentials, loads of money, fancy gadgets, big homes, yachts, private jets etc?

What if our loving essence shone through us at all times, dazzling us with our inherent goodness, kindness, compassion, care, and brotherhood?

What if we begin to let go of our competitiveness, small mindedness, selfishness, and grabbing- hogging - seeking attention mentality?

What if we begin to feel ‘ENOUGH’? I am enough. I have enough. There is enough to go around. There is enough where this comes from. The Source is infinite. Our potential is infinite. Resources are infinite; when one resource gets exhausted, we get creative and find new/ different resources. That is how new discoveries/ inventions are made, new jobs are created, new subjects are studied.

This is an ever-renewing, ever-evolving, ever-growing universe. We are ever-renewing, ever-evolving, ever-growing beings!
Where is the doubt that the universe has ENOUGH for all our needs? But there is certainly a doubt whether it has enough for even a few people’s greed!! And the greed originates in competition!!

It is time we did away with competition in any form; and the place to begin with, as always is, WITHIN US…:)

Competition in Families

Since we grow up in an environment of competition, we carry this competitive spirit into our family lives too (how can that not be). Hence, siblings compete with each other (some parents actually encourage it) and even spouses compete with each other (who do the children love more).

We don't even hide our proclivity for competition and comparison by blatantly asking small innocent children, 'Who loves you more? Papa or Mama? Who do you love more? etc' and depending upon the child's answer (the smarter ones always say 'both' but the adults are not satisfied with such 'spoil-sport' politically correct answers) one parent would chime in, 'Who gets chocolates/ ice-cream/ video-games etc for you?" making the child feel that all the 'goodies' (god forbid) come with a price- you HAVE TO like the one who gets you more 'stuff'.

This is just a small example, I can give many more (and even if I don't, each one of you have your own unique ones to look into). But the fact remains that 'competition' between family members is the cause of all our relational/ societal issues. and each one of us is responsible for sowing this seed in our family. (we may mask this 'competitive spirit' well, but this is the one which creates fodder for all family gossip).

In my practice as a life coach (such coaches are needed because of the mess we ourselves have created), I come across many cases of marital discord; and the root cause of all discords remains just one- yes, the ubiquitous competition. It may show up in different forms/ avatars; but there is no running away from it. 

One very important step in coaching is letting a couple see that they are both on the same side. They want the same things for themselves and their children. I have seen that the moment this thought finds root, a break-through happens. The competition gets demolished. Otherwise, every well-meaning conversation/ observation ends up in perceived fault-finding, judgment, criticism etc. and provokes a befitting retort! (ending the communication in hurt/ sulk/ anger)

And how can that not be? This is exactly what we do in other areas of our life. We are always in a competitive mode. 

The concept of win-win appeals to me a great deal because it ensures a win for all....and that's what we all are. We are all winners. There are no losers here. The only loser is -Competition; and it's high time it lost! 

The game is up!

 

Competitive World...Really??

I was reading Gesu Aftab's blog.......and this particular one resonated deeply. Thank you Gesu for your evocative thoughts. I have taken the liberty of adding my own twist to it.......:)))

.......We have designed an education system which teaches us to compete. We are all asked to develop an ‘urge to win’. If you are not interested or are shy, you have to be 'shaped' to win (continuously making you feel that you are not good enough). We applaud those who are ‘born to win’. All examinations, tests, entrances, sports; most activities focus upon a lot of people participating and a single person winning (or in some cases a group/ few lucky ones winning). There is only one ‘first’ (obviously). (none of us question the validity of such competition; in fact we are all a party to it)

During our most impressionable age (as a child/ teenager/young adult), we are taught to complete and win. But the most hilarious part is that when we grow up and join the work-force (in corporate, government bodies, NGOs etc) organizations have to create special departments and hire specialists to train people into ‘team work’. People are taken through various psychological exercises to build trust in others, work together, communicate clearly, have fun while working, take it easy, laugh, have passion, show compassion, be creative, and allow healthy exchange of ideas. Really!!!!! (we expect the same in families too!)

Weren’t we exactly there when we were kids? Didn’t we play for hours with our friends without competition, having fun, being a team, working together? What a colossal waste of human energy and mental health!

With an education (societal) system like that how many of us can claim to be sane?? What are we doing to change those systems which have outlived their utility? How are we contributing in creating a saner world??

Difficult questions but a simple answer---------WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.........The Father (as always) got it right!!

Point of View

NO ONE can see anything from the same point of view, as I see it....Why am I so certain about it? Because I know that no one can stand on the same point where I am standing, at least not while I am standing there....:) We are not on the same point and can never be on the 'same' point....Similar yes, but not the same!!! Because when you come to the same point, I would have moved from there and vice-versa......

This is what makes our simple life complex....We can never COMPLETELY understand the other person's point of view, it is not possible. We can at best come 'close' to understanding it...BUT what we can easily do is ACCEPT that everyone's point of view is valid for that person. Because it always is.....(this is one of the absolute truths) EVERYONE'S POINT OF VIEW IS ALWAYS VALID FOR THAT PERSON- but may not be so for another person!

Whatever we observe/ believe/ understand/ see is valid from our point of view in that moment....the moment we move from that point our view changes and the new view becomes valid for us. That's so simple to understand, UNLESS we become adamant that the view that I am seeing from my point is the ONLY VIEW and every one must see it the way I am seeing it.

This reminds me of our road journeys, when we stop to admire the view, but even when we stand on the same strip of land, different things attract us....and depending upon our respective position our view is slightly different...small children always see different things because they are shorter (closer to the ground) than us........

All our problems (personal, family, societal, world) emanate from the very fact that we not only don't honour the other person's point of view, but also remain convinced that his/ her point of view is wrong. We get irritated, 'Why can't s/he see what I can see so clearly?' well, s/he can't see what you are seeing, because s/he doesn't have the same point of view. Their view is different from yours and you too can't see their point of view......:))

Today, let us make this commitment to ourselves (for our own peace) that while expressing our own point of view (which we have the right to express), we will restrain from judging another person's point of view (which we have no right to do in the first place- it is trespassing). If we don't like the other person's point of view, the least we can do is say, 'I don't agree with what you are saying, but that's alright. We are different people, with different upbringing, different life-experiences, different challenges etc. etc.'.........Let us honour our differences amicably. Let us learn to disagree without being disagreeable!

An Idle Mind

It is often said that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. This saying came into being under the presumption that those who sit idly can imagine/ brood over non-existent problems or plot to do something evil and sinful. However, it is not necessarily true.

Plotting to do evil and thinking of imaginary problems are matters of attitudes; even so-called busy people can indulge in such pastimes.

To my understanding this saying was coined by those, with vested interest, who wanted to control people/ society, by discouraging them from thinking. A person with ‘free’ (idle) time has time to think, learn about, and debate all aspects of life, including religion and societal-inequalities. Questions arise in a mind that thinks freely ( a free-thinker). And such minds are not easy to control. Hence, people were increasingly encouraged to stop being ‘idle’.

And that’s how the culture of filling our non-working hours with mind-numbing leisure activities began!

If there is one word that small children of all cultures use most frequently, that word would be ‘why?’ Children continue to ask this question because they are curious and their imagination works overtime. This can happen only when our minds are idle.

But we have created our institutions (including families, schools, colleges, work-places etc) around not letting the mind remain idle. Even small children get so busy watching television and playing video-games that all their ‘whys’ remain limited to those activities. What a waste of human energy and its creative potential!

The fact is that our best creative ideas pop into our heads when we are not engaged in any mental activity, such as while sitting idly, walking, lazing around, bathing etc.

If you wish to let your creative juices flow, you need to increase your idle time!!! Any takers?