Emotional Abuse

My friend Nita Mehta is interested in understanding emotional abuse; in my understanding most emotional abuse is self-inflicted.

Yes, any suppression of our own natural, spontaneous, instinctive, and intuitive emotions is emotional abuse.

When we have abused ourselves so much that the emotions cannot be suppressed anymore, we begin to abuse others - whether emotionally or physically.

I have learnt that only an abused person can abuse others; only a hurt person can hurt others, and only a victim of violence can be violent towards others.

In that sense, each one of us is the victim and the perpetrator of abuse. As the saying goes, "Hamam Mein Sab Nange Hain."

Containing or eliminating violence is a collective responsibility.

Please attend a workshop (or read Marshal's book) on Non-violent communication, Nita; it will open your eyes to all kinds of emotional crimes each of us commits on a daily basis.

Perhaps I should create such a workshop too....:)

Suffering

As a young girl, who was brought up on bollywood romance, I had no patience for the sad stories of 'suffering in love'. For me love was only about dancing, singing, sacrificing, and just being happy. Hence, when my share of suffering arrived, I resisted it BIG TIME.

I was heartbroken.

And the misery lasted until I realized that my suffering was leading me to my unaccessed depths, making me learn more deeply about myself, my weaknesses and my motives.

This became a turning point.

I learnt that it was not my heart, but the wall around it which had cracked open.

Yes, it pained. It pained hard. But the experience of that pain allowed me to truly experience my joy.

I KNOW now that those who don't FEEL their pain fully, cannot feel their joy FULLY.